While reading Gilman's The Yellow Wallpaper, I noticed the woman's growing obsession with the wallpaper. Towards the beginning of this work of short fiction she notices the ugly pattern of the wallpaper in her bedroom. She complains about its irritating pattern and its repulsive color. As her mental illness progresses, she begins to personify the wallpaper. She gives details about how the wallpaper has eyes and a creeping woman stuck behind bars. She becomes overly obsessed with the wallpaper in her room; she loses sleep at night staring at the pattern. Everything that she does revolves around the yellow wallpaper.
Once I was finished with the reading I set the papers down and reflected upon what I had just read. I noticed that my eyes started drifting towards the yellow walls which encompass my room. I tried to put myself in Gilman's shoes by staring long and hard at the patterns on my wall. I was disturbed when I discovered how easily I could slip into a sickly state of mind. I have found in the past that after watching scary movies I psych myself out. Sometimes I will go as far as sleeping with the lights turned on so that I am not constantly worrying about the shadows caused by the darkness. This made me think. Am I mentally ill because I, along with Gilman, see shadows moving in the darkness? Who has the authority to classify a person as mentally ill? Deep down I believe that we are all a little disturbed, but in my opinion it is just human nature.
I believe that you're right when you say that we are all a little disturbed. I know that I go a little crazy when I have nothing to occupy my time during the day ... I have to search for things that will keep me busy. But why is this? Why are we constantly searching for things to fill our time? I think that we are often afraid of where our thoughts may take us. When we have certain thoughts, we wonder what others are thinking as well. I think that it IS human nature to be a little afraid of our own thoughts because we strive to fit into the context of what is considered to be 'normal'. But the truth is that we all have obscure thoughts about something at one time or another.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with what you are saying Kristen! I feel that the world of mental illness is so relative and people are often eager give or receive a "diagnosis." To me this title, can sometimes be an excuse to account for normal human mannerisms.
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